Try Living Apart as a Couple
If you have ever had a failed relationship, but then met the person of your dreams. One you have much in common with and energy that never existed before, then have you considered living apart, but remaining a couple? This still allows you to take the relationship to the next level without tearing down the established life you both already have. Deep down you may want to be totally committed, but not enough to uproot what is already established. Living apart together, known as LAT for short, is a new, unconventional way to be committed while remaining independent. This trend is gaining momentum, especially with older adults who already have a failed marriage. Below are a few reasons you and your partner should give LAT a chance.
Your Own Space
If you value your own space and your previous relationship not having physical or personal space was stifling the LAT is a great option. You may have so missed your own space that you lost track of your own goals. Perhaps you considered yourself “just” a wife or mother. Being in a LAT relationship means you have your own time and space, keeping it the way you want and taking responsibility for yourself.
Keep Children’s Lives from Being Disrupted
Many times, when kids are involved, people are reluctant to enter a relationship and disrupt their lives. The children may not want a weird transitional phase with a new partner acting as a parent. In an LAT relationship, you can have the best of both worlds. There are clear boundaries with the person, that they are for you, and acting as a co-parent is about choice not necessity.
No Co-Dependent Partner
If in your previous relationship your partner had no identity outside the actual relationship it may have been draining and boring. With an LAT relationship both parties make the relationship priority, but also have lives outside of it with friends, interests, and hobbies.
Be a Person of Mystery
In your previous relationship, you may have fallen into routine and stopped anything extra or fun. Basically, you got bored and you do not want that to happen again. Be intentional in the time you spend with your partner because it will feel more intimate. Finding someone who plans time together and puts effort into keeping it interesting will increase satisfaction in and out of the bedroom.
After about six months to a year, if you are reluctant to continue living apart, then reassess and decide on a different arrangement. If it is working for you, then keep things the same and reassess as needed.
