Secrets to a great relationship

Secrets to a great relationship

For some, marriage is the best decision they every made. They have a close partnership, but they also have ups and downs just like everyone else.  It may seem as if they relationship is effortless, but all relationships require work and patience.

All relationships are different and for every successful relationship, there is a failed one.  We all learn as we go along in our life journey.

There is no right and wrong way to work a relationship, but there are a few tips to help out:

a) Love your partner for who they are

You should know what you want in a partner before enter into a committed relationship. Don’t go into a relationship with the idea that you will change them into the partner you want them to . This will only wear you out and your partner will grow to resent you. Love your partner for who they are. Accept them for all of it. (Even if they do have a weird patch of back hair.  Accept that along with the fact that they bring you coffee before you get out of bed.)

b) Focus on being kind, not being right

Secrets to a great relationshipEveryone likes to be right.  However, being rich only gets you so far.  There are some situations where there are absolute rights, like getting a parking space or finding the best sandwich.   Being a right fighter will keep you from being truly happy.  If you are constantly arguing you will lose sight of the happiness that is right in front of you. Focus instead on being kind to your partner.  Deflecting into a need to be kind will be the right choice.

c) Be the best you can be

Before you seek perfection from a partner, expect it from yourself.   If you are spending a lot of time looking for perfection, you will be disappointed. You may have some expectations that can’t be met.   Instead of spending this time searching for perfection, think about how you can improve yourself.  It may be a simple as practicing being mindful so you can make the most of every moment. It will also calm you and put  you in the habit of maximizing your time with a partner.

d) Don’t assume anything and don’t take things personally.

This is good advice, not just for your relationship but also for other areas of your life.  It is only human nature to be self centered.  It is called personal importance. Not everything is about us.   Our partners have their own lives and unless they are living in a literal bubble, they encounter things daily that will through them off kilter.  We shouldn’t assume that they are upset because you did something or didn’t do something, they may just be trying to decompress from something in the outside world.  In the same way, don’t just assume that they know what you want.   If you come home tense and angry from work, don’t just assume they will know you want to be pampered and spoiled when you get home.   No matter how perfect  you partner truly is they aren’t mind readers.  Ask for what you want.  If you want to be greeted with a glass of wine and silence, tell your partner.    If you are late because you are waiting to calm down so you don’t drive angry, tell your partner.

There are no rules for the perfect relationship. The above are simply guidelines  to help improve what you have and help put you in a good frame of mind to seek a partner. 

A happier relationship is only is good as the effort you are willing to put in to it.

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