Heart Healing without Closure
Closure after a breakup is important, but not imperative for heart healing. It can be healthy to have a formal good-bye, but this is not always possible. Even when it is possible, it may be largely unsatisfactory. Below are several ways to help you heal when a relationship ends without closure and ways to help you move on after an unexpected break-up or loss.
One of the most important things to remember for healthy closure of a relationship is that physical and emotional distance is involved. You cannot move on and heal if you keep seeing the other person or are emotionally and physically involved with them. The actual ending of the relationship is difficult and it is even worse when you have to see the other person. If you have the option, create some distance. Healthy relationship closure occurs when you discuss why your relationship ended. This can be any form of a relationship, wife, sister, girlfriend, boyfriend, or family member. Closure involves honest, open-minded, nonjudgmental communication that may be painful, but is needed. It is important because you can learn from failed relationships and feel more capable of letting go with closure. Closure helps you heal by settling the mind about what unfolded and make you stronger as you move into new relationships. Denying closure for someone make a breakup worse than necessary as well as being destructive.
However, getting closure can be difficult because you may be the one who needs to let go, but you do not want to and refuse to discuss things. It is painful and revealing as a process, but closure is about conflict resolution and finding a way to leave the relationship in the past. This closure can trigger pain for many which is why some people just walk away without explanation. Unfortunately, this means the pain will be worse in the long run. That said, even without closure you can heal over time, below will show you how.
Healing Without Closure
In an ideal situation, relationship closure involves both people, but many times one person just walks out without explanation. The suggestions below are just to get you started, each person has to find their own methods that work so they can move forward in life.
- Write Through the Grieving – Life has changed and you lost something meaningful. You are grieving and this takes time. Part of the grieving needs to be learning to let go and discussing why things ended and how to move forward. If you cannot do this with the other person, then try writing it out. This will help you sort through feelings and emotions. These letters can be as short or long as needed and there can be a few or many. You do not have to send these letters, but if you want to, give it three months, and see if the need is still there. If there is no purpose in sending them, don’t, but if you feel it will make a difference, then go for it.
- Refresh – If your ex moved out, you may want to find a new place to live as well. You may even a want to relocate to a different state. This is a huge life change, but can be helpful. Changing your physical environment will also change your thoughts and emotions. This can help you move forward in healing. Keep in mind your emotional baggage does follow you, so you will still need to go through the grieving process, but moving can make it even easier.
- Reach for the Stars – Your relationship may have taken up a big part of your life, but now you have time to expand other areas. Work on spiritual and emotional growth or your job aspirations to help your heart heal.
- Remember Who You Were – There is no need to abandon old friends, but make a new one as it can be refreshing and help your heart heal.
- Learn About Letting Go – You need to let go and if this means you need to read, seek counseling, or find a life coach, then do so. You cannot do what you do not understand so educate yourself.
- Talk to a Counselor – When we grieve, our brains do not process things normally and a counselor can help us get back on track. Never be afraid of asking for help.
- You are Responsible for Your Feelings – No one can make you feel anything because we alone control our emotions. We may not be able to control what happens, but we control how we react or feel about it.
These are starting points that will help you heal, add your own, seek wisdom from others, and learn to move forward. You are strong enough to heal even without closure.