Changing an Emotionally Unavailable Man

Changing an Emotionally Unavailable Man

If you find that you are asking if you can change a man that is not emotionally available to you then chances are that you are already in a relationship that is not happy for you.

Being in a relationship that is not making you feel good or giving you the hope and happiness that you want means that you are opening your heart to someone that is not doing the same.

Here are some things you probably say:

  • We would be so good together if he could just see it.
  • If he would just talk to me about his feelings, then our relationship would be better.
  • I wish I could talk him into changing.

Relationships should be fun, and you should be working on the relationship together but when you are not, it becomes anything else but fun.

Why Did This Happen?

Take a look at your past and figure out why you are at the point where you are trying to change your boyfriend. Did you realize at some point that even though he is an adult that you are always treating him like a child?

Remember that people will not change because you want them to, but they will change when they are ready. He more than likely has given you reason to believe that he is not going to change. This doesn’t mean that change is impossible, but it means that it probably won’t happen, and things will get harder.

If you are trying to change your man to be available to you then you need to see things from his point of view. He wants to be with you and close to you, but he has a hard time changing to give you the attention that you want.

Why He Won’t Change

It is going to be a miracle if you can get your guy to change. You have to accept that you are wasting your time on this and you do not have to be upset with yourself.

Learn to look at his flaws and see if they are hard to handle. He is not your child and he is your boyfriend, and he needs to be what you need him to be.

People Changing

People will normally only change when something in their life causes them to change. They will not become emotionally available to you just because you want them to and you need to stop waiting for when this happens.

You have to face the truth that you cannot change someone and make them open to you and you have to learn to change who you are instead.

Stop putting your happiness in the hands of someone else and learn to be happy on your own. Doing this can help you to survive a hard relationship.

Stop Staying and Walk Away

The longer that you stay in these kinds of relationships the harder it is to get away. When you find someone that you want to be with, but you realize it isn’t working out, you need to cut the cords immediately and stop dating them.

Stop investing time into the relationship that is getting harder and harder. If it is meant to be, it will be an easy relationship. Maybe they will change, but they probably won’t.

Bad Relationships

Have you been in bad relationships and you keep finding the same kind of man over and over again? Chances are that you have faced a lot of disappointment and you do not understand why.

Why do you keep attracting this kind of person and even when you recognize the signs, you choose to not walk away? This kind of behavior is not good for you and you have to learn to change your own behavior, even if that means seeing a counselor.

Unworthy Men

Stop giving your love to people that are not putting the same effort into the relationship. Do not put your time and energy into someone that doesn’t love you back.


The more you give your heart to people that you cannot open up, the less worthy of love you will feel. You will lower your self-esteem and you will feel that you are no longer attractive. This can cause you to feel needy and helpless.

You are a strong woman, and you don’t have to have someone in your life to be happy. Walk away if you are feeling unhappy.


A man that loves you or likes you will put in a lot of effort to see you. He will want to date you and he will ask you. He will meet your family and your friends and want to be with you.

If your man is not doing these things, then he does not love you and you will probably not be in a long-term relationship. Even if you are, he probably is not that into you.

Mr. Wrong

Stop finding Mr. Wrong and stop staying with men that are not committed to you. Learn to go out and accept your losses but move on.

You need someone that is going to be emotionally invested in you. You need to be in a relationship with someone that is doing for you just like you are doing for him.

Learn to be confident in your life and let your self-esteem sore. Do not take risk and let yourself self-esteem be diminished because of someone you date.

Changing a Man

If you find you are putting your own happiness in the hands of someone that is not available to you then you will need him to change. You will want him to love you and to be close to you and this might make you even feel selfish.

What if all of a sudden, he sees how valuable you are? This can happen and maybe he will start seeing who you are and will change his ideas. He will see that he doesn’t want to lose you and that may be the one things that changes him.


Love who you are and learn to love yourself more than everyone. Doing this is not selfish but it can help you to be healthy and strong. Stop trying to get others to love you and to see what you are worth in life. You are worth more than you know.

Let your life build back up if you have gone through a breakup or if you were with someone that was not giving you what you need. You may not realize it at first, but this was a lesson and can inspire you to love who you are more than ever.

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